


at least our dicks survived intact

by elliptical



Series: this was supposed to be a mermaid oneshot what happened [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (actual xeno this time god bless), Alternate Universe - Mermaid, Awkward Sex, Dom/sub, Finger Sucking, Fluff, Gill Sucking, Humor, Light Bondage, M/M, Xeno, Xeno (sort of), You Decide, dave named his dick bartholomew, did i cover it all, i think so, like at all, mermaid!John, now with a second chapter that might be hot and sexy, second chapter includes:, teenage boys in love, this isn't hot and sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:26:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliptical/pseuds/elliptical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(underage is because they're like sixteen or seventeen, you don't have to read vacation to understand this)</p><p>You are Dave Strider, and you are pretty sure you’re about to be embarrassed as fuck.</p><p>Because you are in a relatively warm, shallow pool with your mer boyfriend (“there is no fucking way I am doing it in cold salt water” “well there’s no fucking way I’m doing it on dry land!”) and you are about to figure out sex things.</p><p>And you don’t know shit about his anatomy.</p><p>And he barely knows shit about yours.</p><p>Fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well this got a pretty good response on my tumblr so i figured i might as well post it here  
> yells yolo and flies into the night

You are Dave Strider, and you are pretty sure you’re about to be embarrassed as fuck.

Because you are in a relatively warm, shallow pool with your mer boyfriend (“there is no fucking way I am doing it in cold salt water” “well there’s no fucking way I’m doing it on dry land!”) and you are about to figure out sex things.

And you don’t know shit about his anatomy.

And he barely knows shit about yours.

Fuck.

“This is gonna be like the most awkward health class anybody’s ever had,” you tell him. “Even worse than, ‘Don’t have sex, you will get pregnant and die.’ Although maybe that’s an actual issue. Can you get pregnant?”

“What? No!”

“Hey, just wondering. I don’t know how your mermaid genders and whatfuck work.”

“I can’t get pregnant.”

“Well, good. Got any weird seaweed STDs?”

“Dave!”

“Does it look like an octopus tentacle? Because I bet Rose would like that.”

“ _Dave!_ ”

“These are serious questions, bro. Gotta know this shit so I know what I’m in for before I feel you up,” you say, leaning over to kiss his nose. You have an arm draped across his shoulders and he’s shifting restlessly, the fin of his silvery tail flicking against the floor.

His cheeks are pink. “Why am I doing this with you again,” he mumbles.

You grin and run your thumb over one of the gill slits on his neck.

He bites down hard on his lip. “Not fai-aughhhfuuck,” and he’s almost whimpering because you leaned in as quickly as possible to suck on his skin. 

You don’t stop, tangling a hand in his hair and tugging his head back to give you better access, humming quietly. His tail flicks, on the verge of thrashing, soft whines rising in his throat. As you let your tongue trace slowly over the edges, he lets out a breathless, “Dave Dave Dave fuck you’re an asshole.”

Your grin gets wider. You pull back, kiss his lips. “That’s why you’re doing this with me.”

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too, dude.”

“So. Your weird human anatomy.”

“Yeah, I have a fifth limb. It’s weird.”

He gives you an absolutely horrified look. “A _what?_ ”

“Yeah, it’s like a third leg dangling at my crotch. Big enough to walk on. It’s intense.”

“Oh my god.”

“You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, dating a human and all.”

“Oh my _god_.”

“My dick is the size of planet fucking Jupiter,” you say, kissing his shoulder and then his jaw, avoiding his neck. “All right, not literally, I guess it’s going to be easier if I just kick off my swim shorts and let you look.”

“I am more than a little apprehensive, dude.”

“You’re about to become the only one besides me who has ever touched my virgin prick,” you say. “You should feel honored. Hundreds of ladies clamor for this opportunity.”

Then, because you really need to get the traumatic part over with, you tug your shorts down your thighs, kick them off, and toss them behind you. You are now officially naked in front of your boyfriend for the first time. You're a lot more comfortable than you thought you would be.

“Prick, dick – do you have any other names for it?”

“Cock and Bartholomew,” you say without missing a beat.

He snorts a laugh, staring at it. Then he flicks his gaze back to you, meeting your eyes, because he told you explicitly that you were not going to be wearing your dumb shades if you two were going to be doing awkward sex things. (“dave, i like your eyes! they’re pretty.” “oh my god shut up” “no you shut up and stop being dumb and take off the fucking glasses.” “jesus christ”)

“It looks weird,” he says. “I mean, it is less horrifying than an actual third leg! But it looks weird.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure whatever junk you’ve got hidden can’t look much worse.”

He pokes it with his pointer finger, evidently at a loss of something else to do. It is potentially the least arousing touch you’ve ever felt in your life. Not painful, just not sexy in the slightest. You figure he’s not really trying to turn you on, though, so you forgive him. “It’s on the outside.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s really weird.”

“Well, I don’t have a bunch of fish scales to tuck old man Bartholomew into, I don’t know what you were expecting.”

Another snort of laughter. “Stop calling it Bartholomew.”

“Bartholomew is going to be insulted that you’re disrespecting his name.”

“Dave. Dave no.”

“John. Yes.”

He rolls his eyes. “You are making this so much worse than it needs to be.”

“That’s what I’m best at.”

“So, how do you like… use it for sex?”

“Jesus,” you groan. He must see the redness starting to creep up your cheeks (his are stained a little pink too) because he starts to get dangerously close to that annoying yet weirdly hot Possessive John Smirk.

“Well?”

“Your job is basically to make me horny as fuck and then I can jizz all the fuck over the place.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Dave, I have no idea how to do that.”

“You’ve done it before, dude.”

“Well I’d do the whole wrist pinny thing but I don’t actually know how to _touch_ you there and what if I mess up and hurt you!” A pause. “It looks really, really weird.”

“It’s not an it. It’s Bartholomew.”

“ _Stoooooooop_.”

“All right, all right. I can… show you, I guess?”

“Good plan.”

“This is so fucking embarrassing I doubt I can get turned on at all, but all right, here we go.”

You guide his hand around your dick, considering how much different him touching you is than you touching you. His skin feels softer than yours, and as he runs his thumb curiously over the head of your cock, the webbing between his fingers brushes weirdly against you in a way that’s not entirely unpleasant.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“Y-yeah, here…”

You guide his fingers up and down, trying not to think about the fact that you have to _teach your mermaid boyfriend how to jerk you off_. He seems to get the hang of it pretty quickly, squeezing you lightly, stroking near the base. You try to bite down on any noises you might want to make, burying your face in his shoulder and getting used to the sensation of his palms against you. The weird friction and heat rippling up your spine.

“I’m guessing the fact that it’s getting hard is a good thing,” John says.

“Mmmhmm.”

You shift a little, slinging your legs over his tail so you can easily wrap both arms around his torso, trusting him not to accidentally cut off your dick or something. John continues to work the shaft, pausing for half a second to poke your balls.

“Your genitals are so _weird,_ ” he complains.

“Mmm. Get back to work, boy.”

“Shut up,” he says, going back to touching you. He’s getting a little rougher, squeezing harder, moving faster.

You whine, pretty much completely failing to hold back the noise. Your face is still pressed into his skin, so you pull back, only to discover he’s doing the predatory mer stare thing.

Shit.

Another second – “Ow! Jesus, John, it doesn’t bend that way!”

“Sorry!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’m sure you are.”

You’re kind of panting, your heart beating a lot faster than you thought it would be. His hand slows, moving in precise, deft strokes over you, and you know for sure that he’s just teasing you.

“Asshole,” you hiss.

“I’m not sorry,” he says.

“W-wait a second.”

John pulls away from you, frowning.

“I want to learn about your weird mermaid junk before you make me jizz passionately and then fall into your arms.”

“What if I put my mouth on it?” he asks, curious.

Your throat goes dry with first, the thought of getting head; second, the thought of getting head from John; and third, the thought that since John is a mer and all, if he went down on you under the water, he probably wouldn’t have to stop for air or whatever the fuck else can go wrong during a blow job.

“…that’s definitely a thing you could do, yeah.”

“What if I bit it?”

“NO.”

“Relax, Dave, I’m kidding. I’m not that stupid.” He smiles and kisses your lips. “So, I teach you about weird mer stuff and then I put your dick in my mouth? Good plan?”

“Very good plan.”

You can neglect Bartholomew for a while. He will forgive you.

“Okay, so I have… a slit? In my tail?” John says, making it sound like a question. He guides your hand to about where crotch level would be on a human, where you discover a gap in his scales that you totally would never have noticed if you hadn’t been groping him.

“So I just… stick my hand up here? Or what?”

Oh Jesus Christ why were you suddenly reminded of Bro’s puppets no stop Dave no stop bad.

Your boyfriend’s weird anatomy has nothing to do with puppets Jesus Christ on a stick.

“Yeah, I… yeah.”

“Is there… enough room?”

“I’ll just scream loudly in pain if there isn’t.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’m still kidding.”

“You are making me not want to touch you ever.”

“It’s fine, Dave, relax. You’re so tense!” He laughs and flicks his tail upward, managing to douse you with a spray of water. “I promise it won’t hurt.”

“Present time, present time, open a present and see what’s inside,” you mutter.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. I guess now’s not an appropriate time to be quoting kid’s shows.” You switch your positions, so his tail is draped over your legs. “So… like this?” you say, slipping one of your fingers between the folds of scales and

oh

okay

that’s weird.

Not unpleasant, really. You don’t exactly know how to describe the dark cave hiding John’s dick as anything except… a dark cave hiding his dick. Even warmer than the rest of his body, kind of damp, which shouldn’t surprise you considering… he lives underwater… and your hand is underwater… so yeah scratch that whole thought.

John’s hips twitch the tiniest bit. He bites down hard on his lip, closing his eyes. “You can fit more than a finger in there, you know.”

“Begging me to grope your merdick, that’s cute,” you say, and hesitantly so hesitantly because this seems like something that could hurt pretty badly if you fuck up, you slide the rest of your fingers in, the four digits stroking at his inner walls, your thumb pressed against his scales.

He squirms, his tail curling upward, fin almost breaking the surface of the water. “T-that’s good,” he stutters, and his face is flushed and wow he’s sort of really adorable.

Your fingers find purchase on something else, something slick that seems to be moving – twisting, sort of. John half-whimpers, his back arching a little, tail thrashing more insistently.

“Is that your weird merdick?”

“Y-yeah.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to _actually_ be like an octopus tentacle.”

“It isn’t! It’s just diff – ahhhn – different from y-yours. What do you expect? I’m part fffish fuck oh man oh man oh man.”

You can’t decide whether the look on John’s face is hot or hilarious. Nothing, you think, is going to salvage your wilted erection, but that’s okay because this is actually pretty entertaining. And feels good, the whole I-can-pleasure-my-boyfriend thing. And –

yeah, you’re just going to roll with this.

You rub your fingers over John’s weirdass merdick, which curls in a way human dicks definitely do not. He grabs hold of your shoulders like a lifeline, tilting his head back and panting, almost trembling. John is clearly not very good at being quiet about these things.

You manage to shift just enough that you can get your mouth on his gills again, and his dick fucking _jumps_ like some sort of acrobatic tiger in a circus or some shit. He’s definitely whimpering now, and moaning, his fingers tangling in your hair, pressing your face harder into his skin. “D-d-don’t stop.”

So you don’t.

Your tongue flicks almost harshly at his neck as you suck harder, like you’re trying to give him a hickey. You don’t know if that could happen, come to think of it. Hmm.

Well, it’s not like everyone can’t totally guess what you guys needed the pool for, so.

Meanwhile, you’re trying to figure out exactly what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing at his crotch, because no amount of porn watching has prepared you for this. At least, you think, you can say that you had an interesting first sexual experience. Not everyone has gotten the opportunity to jerk off a merman. You are clearly a god among men.

You really need to stop getting distracted.

You discover John’s dick can slide out of his tail, which makes sense if mermen are planning to stick it in any mermaid vaginas, you guess, even though you actually have no idea how real mer-on-mer sex works. And why are you thinking about this.

_I am unsheathing your sword_ , you think, but your mouth is still busy so you don’t say it out loud.

Instead you just keep getting him worked up until he’s shuddering all over, the noises he’s making growing hoarser. It’s like he’s becoming undone or something. You try not to let that go to your head. His weird gill erogenous zones have absolutely nothing to do with whatever sex god skills you might have.

He keeps splashing you when his tail jerks, so you’re getting pretty well soaked, but that doesn’t matter. If you just keep touching him how you’d touch yourself, you figure you can’t really go wrong.

When he finally comes, it’s with a kind of keening noise that’s the most inhuman sound you’ve ever heard him make. And Jesus Christ, his orgasm lasts way longer than yours usually do, so by the time he’s done, he’s not much more than a trembling mess.

You pull your mouth away from his neck and kiss his lips.

“That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever done,” you say.

“You’re the weirdest thing I’ve ever done,” he manages. “Or will do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wrote more porn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some actual real porn this time guys are you happy

The second time the pair of you have real sex, John decides he’s not too worried to do the wrist pinny thing.

Actually, you guys talk it over and mutually decide that you’re pretty cool with the wrist pinny thing turning into the Dave gets tied up and John gets to harass him thing. (You decide your safe word is “Lil Cal” because god knows there’s gotta be something really fucking wrong if you yell that during sex.)

Other things that come up during said discussion include other places he can feasibly touch you, ways he probably should not touch you, and what you personally are going to end up doing.

“I’m just saying, I’ll feel bad if I’m chilling there letting you do all the work.”

“Dave, believe me, if I have you tied up and at my mercy, you’re not going to be ‘chilling there.’”

“Welp hello boner.”

So anyway, the two of you find yourselves back in the pool, this time with you sneaking a length of rope past everybody like the stealthy little shit you are. “It’ll probably get soggy,” you say, stepping into the water next to him, tugging your shirt over your head and tossing about ten feet away, “but I think it’ll do the trick. I should invest in a pair of handcuffs or something.”

“Your bro probably has handcuffs.”

“John, I’m going to pretend you didn’t just tell me to use a sex toy my bro has laid hands on.”

John shrugs. “I’m just saying.”

“No.”

“Whatever you say.” He grins and takes the rope from your hands. “Now turn around so I can actually tie this.”

You do, your heart starting to beat frantically in your chest, as he pulls your arms behind your back, positioning them so your forearms are pressed together, hands brushing the opposite elbows. The position pulls your shoulders back in a way that’s not exactly comfortable, but not intolerable either. And when he threads and secures the rope so you can’t move them, you’re a little too distracted by your boner to care.

“Is that too tight?” he asks.

You pull experimentally at the rope. Definitely can’t escape, but it doesn’t feel like it’s cutting off the circulation. In any way that’s too dire, at least.

“No, that’s fine.”

“Good.” John runs his fingertips across your shoulder blades, then turns you around so you’re facing him, legs straddling his tail. He has that fucking look in his eyes, even more pronounced than usual, probably because he’s having the same kind of head rush you are. 

“Stay still,” he says, and you contemplate being a defiant little shit, decide against it. For now. 

He leans in to kiss your collarbone, just barely grazing it with his teeth, not enough to leave a mark. His tongue flicks against your skin, dragging up your neck and over your jaw. You tilt your head back the slightest bit, otherwise keeping every muscle locked in place, closing your eyes.

John pauses by your ear. “I wonder just how desperate I can make you,” he muses, before placing rough licks of his tongue against the sensitive spot just behind your earlobe.

You bite down hard on a noise, not wanting to give him the satisfaction quite yet. “You sadistic fucker.”

“You masochistic fucker.” He leans down, palms you through your swim shorts. Your hips stutter. “Oh my god, already?”

“This is a really bad kink okay you do not understand.”

“This is still hilarious.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

“You still get off on it.”

“Touche.”

He shifts again so he can slide the shorts off and get rid of them, then presses his thumbs against your hip bones, smiling wickedly when your stomach muscles contract. You can’t really help moaning when his fingers start to knead and stroke your inner thighs, alternating between touches so light you can barely feel them and rougher ministrations.

“Better,” John says, face slightly flushed. You pull again at the rope binding your arms, again to no avail. You have the feeling he’s barely started touching you and you’re being kind of overwhelmed by the desire to touch him back but you can’t do much. “Stay still.”

Your legs are beginning to tremble. He grins.

"Now let's see, how am I going to do this..."

He kind of shimmies backward into a shallower part of the pool, pulling you along with him. Makes it a whole lot easier to flip you over and pin you down with his tail, just like he did the first time he figured out this kink.

The pool bottom is harsh against your strained shoulder blades and forces your back into an arch. Also John's leaning over you and holy fucking shit John is leaning over you and he has your legs pinned perfectly with his tail and he's kissing a trail over your throat and sucking on your skin and you're starting to get lightheaded. In a good way.

You watch him brace his hands on either side of your body. He leans down so his breath fans over your face, sending shivers along your spine. "You're so pretty like this, Dave," he says, and you know he means it.

He pecks your lips and pulls back before grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back. You whimper in a totally undignified way, muscles straining as you struggle to gain some friction against him. You're actually aching, and every little touch makes it worse.

He totally knows that.

"You're not very good at the whole staying still thing, are you?"

"You're disturbingly good at the whole sadistic dom thing" -

"Shh. I am just admiring how nice you look! I mean, seriously. You're all flushed and helpless and really cute. Not quiiite desperate enough yet, though, I'll have to work harder for that."

Why do you get horny this easily who did this to you this is totally unfair.

You fucking love it.

"So how are you going to..."

John bites down on your neck.

Your spine arches even farther, and you don't even care that your arms are beginning to ache or that's going to leave a mark, because holy FUCK. He follows the bite mark up with a couple light kisses across your collarbones, another harsh bite on one shoulder, another on the top of your arm. His tongue laps at them and yep coherence is fading.

Especially when his next words are lower, and lacking any trace of his earlier playful mockery. "I wonder how many different ways I could mark you as mine. You are mine, and I never get a chance to goddamn show it."

"I..." It takes a second to remember how to form sentences. "I know I'm yours."

"I know you know." He seems more amused than irritated by the constant, shifting movement of your hips, locking eyes with you. It is very easy to remember your boyfriend isn't human with that fucking look on his face. "Next time we do this, I'll make sure you're tied properly to something so I can just sit back and watch you writhe around looking for contact."

"OhmyfuckinggodJohn please."

"Please what?"

"Please just fuckin' - do somethin', I'm dying."

"Aaand there's the accent starting to come out. Awesome."

"I hate you."

"You do not."

You pull on the ropes again, your arms trembling now too. "Do so."

He must notice how much your arms are starting to ache, because he sits up and pulls you up too, tail still casually resting across your thighs. You feel a hard, insistent throb in your dick that gets a lot worse when his hand tangles in your hair again, pressing your face into his neck, mouth against his gills.

"Suck."

Aaand you lose it.

You whine desperately, hands twitching of their own accord because you want to touch yourself so badly it's an instinct instead of a conscious decision. Your tongue slides along the outer edges before slipping between the folds; you're rewarded by an inhuman, primal noise from your boyfriend. Suck harder at his skin than you ever have before. It's partial revenge for the way he's teasing you. The more you lap at his gills, the more his tail thrashes, drenching the pair of you, but he keeps his hand in your hair. When he tugs the slightest bit, you let out an even more desperate whine, closer to a keen, because at this point you're ceasing to be Dave Strider and becoming John's toy instead and goddamn if that isn't the hottest thing -

He releases you eventually, leaving you breathing hard and him completely red in the face.

"Good boy," he gasps, like he's trying out the compliment.

It goes straight to your dick.

Everything right now is going straight to your dick goddammit.

"Holy fuckin' shit, Jesus Christ, fuckin' baby Jesus Christ in a manger where the dude is too innocent to see this shi-mmmfff."

Your barely coherent ramble is cut off when John shoves four of his fingers into your mouth.

Hoooly shit.

“Be quiet,” he says. “You talk too much.” He pushes them in a little deeper, so you have to tilt your head back to make sure you don’t gag. “How about you use your mouth for this instead, since you did such a good job with my gills?”

Jesus.

It’s not exactly easy to suck on his fingers when they’re all in your mouth at once, but damn do you try. Your tongue eases between the digits, catching on the thin webbing – it tastes weird, saltier than the rest of his skin. You do your best to make sure your teeth don’t clamp down, figuring if something goes wrong and you do need to safeword, you’ll just bite down really hard.

He begins to thread them between your lips, basically finger fucking your mouth, at the same time his other hand finally closes around your neglected prick.

You almost come right then and there.

“Not yet,” he commands. “Hold on.”

Your moans and whines escalate quickly into half-screams of desperation as you struggle to find relief, at the same time struggling not to blow your load. He pumps your dick slowly, at about half the pace that he’s fucking your mouth, causing your muscles to tense and strain as you try to move your hips and force him to go faster.

“Easy now,” John says, that fucking predatory grin plastered all over his face. “Calm down.”

You kind of growl at him, but it’s muffled since his fingers are still threading in and out of your mouth, and he tastes really fucking good and you’re sweating and helpless and Jesus the way he’s teasing at your dick, you feel yourself on the edge and as he swipes his thumb over the head of your cock, you try to whimper that you can’t hang on, you can’t.

He gets the message and pulls away entirely, leaving you so hard and close it hurts, before slowly removing his fingers from your mouth and trailing them down your chin.

“YOU FFFUCKING DICK I SWEAR TO GOD” –

“Shoosh,” he says, and that’s when you realize that he’s got the hand that was jerking you off tucked up between his scales, touching himself, his eyes closing.

He moans softly, pulling his dick out of his tail, squeezing it. It curls around his fingers like it has a fucking mind of its own, which maybe it does because you haven’t quite gotten over how weird his anatomy is. He’s fucking jerking himself off in front of you and no matter how much you struggle, you still can’t move, since pinning you down seems to just be second nature for him.

“JESUS CHRIST, JOHN.”

“Mmm.”

He’s panting, and you would worry about his lungs and shit if you weren’t too busy wanting him to touch you.

After what feels like an eternity of torturing you (it’s probably about thirty seconds, to be honest) he finally looks down at you and says, in a voice that’s much more like normal John than possessive dominant John, “I’m going to fuck you? But if it hurts or anything, tell me.”

“Thank God.”

“You still can’t come until I tell you to, though.”

“One day I’m going to give you a blow job and bite your dick clean off.”

“Yeah, okay. You can try.” He snorts and finally slides his tail off of your legs, spreading your thighs with his hands. “God, human bodies are weird.”

“Says the guy who’s about to shove his tentacle dick up my ass.”

“Point taken.”

John’s dick is kind of slick all on its own, so you don’t exactly need lube, which doesn’t gross you out nearly as much as it should. It does feel weird as he moves up between your legs and you feel the tip press at your entrance before slowly sliding inside. He didn’t stretch you with his fingers or anything (at this point if he drew it out any longer you’d be yelling “IF YOU DON’T PUT IT IN I SWEAR I’M GOING TO SAW IT OFF WITH A RUSTY FORK”) so it’s a little uncomfortable, and also feels weird, because holy hell there’s like. A slimy tentacle thing in your butt.

You’re not used to having things up your butt all right this is not a thing you normally do.

The weirdness melts away pretty fast, though, when the tip of the muscle pushes against some spot deep inside you and you _scream_.

John, bless his soul, can tell the difference between an ow that hurt scream and a holy shit do that again scream, so… he does it again. You wrap your legs desperately around his waist, clinging for dear life, helpless to do much besides _take it_. If you come now you’re going to be seriously pissed at yourself, partially because you’re enjoying this and partially because –

\- well, John did tell you not to.

He doesn’t even have to thrust for his dick to pulse and search and spasm inside you, filling you in ways you’ve never experienced before. Your whole body is shaking now, arms straining against the ropes. John pulls your hair and kisses you violently, biting at your lips so hard you taste blood, tongue flicking against your teeth, like he wants to devour you whole. He’s gone full mer now, isn’t even bothering to put up pretenses, growling and hissing a stream of “Mine mine mine mine mine.”

“Yours,” you manage to gasp out, and he’s so warm and he’s inside you and his dick presses up against your prostate again, starts an insistent rhythm, and your legs tighten around him and “John John John I can’t I can’t I can’t” –

“Come for me.”

You orgasm harder than you ever have in your life, John wrapping his hand around your length and milking it out, still kissing you. It’s seconds before he comes himself, apparently pushed over the edge from watching you. His keening sounds fade out until he’s just shaking against you. You clench around him, riding it out, and holy shit yeah that feels weird, and finally he pulls out of you.

He flops over on his side, splashing you with a spray of water. “Whoa okay.”

“My arms hurt, dude.”

“Whoops!” John helps you sit up and quickly undoes the knots. “There, is that better?”

“Yeah. How’s your breathing?”

He wriggles back down into the water. “Better now.”

“That was something.”

“Something. That’s the only word you can come up with.”

“I’m dazed.”

John smiles and pulls you down with him, bringing his hands up to rub your sore shoulders. They’re going to keep being sore for like a week. And you’re pretty sure you got rope burn on your forearms. Welp.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you too and also I feel like I’m going to die.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I really like sex.”

“Me too.”

“We made a lot of noise.”

“Yeah, we did.”

“We’re going to get harassed.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“I regret nothing.”

“Let’s snuggle.”

You do.

**Author's Note:**

> presumably after that john blows dave and manages not to eat his dick and then the two of them cuddle but i'm lazy


End file.
